thoughts

Why Anticipation and I are not friends

I can’t say I know anyone who likes waiting or particularly likes the act of waiting. Anticipation implies excitement but for me the stress of the unknown blocks out any benefit from excitement. I like things to come regularly and as promised. I like detailed information that follows a predictable path. I am a creature of habit and I like the comfortable. Although I like the comfortable I am not a complacent person. I am constantly trying to move forward since I will always and forever have the “never enough” complex. However loving comfortability allows me to occasionally appreciate what I have.

I have heard Anticipation described through the metaphor of a roller coaster, you have to sit through the slow “Ticka Ticka Ticka” portion before the ride begins, but ultimately you are excited. I don’t think that the roller coaster metaphor fits with the feeling I get filled with when I am anticipating something, to me it feels like I am at the Dentist.

The Dentist is the worst for so many reasons: The picking,prodding,bleeding,pain, and discomfort. I would argue that the worst part is the waiting and the anticipation for it to be over, The dentist is nothing more than a waiting cycle that you can not even participate in. The Dentist is something that happens to you. You schedule your appointment and wait six months. You walk in and you wait for fifteen minutes, they call you back and you wait for the hygienist, then you wait for the hygienist to stop torturing you, Then you wait for the doctor followed by news that she has to deliver, then you wait to talk to schecdule your next appointment, then you wait for the cycle to start again.

The waiting isn’t what I hate most, it is the in ability to help the situation. When they are examining your teeth you can’t help the process along, you can’t even answer their questions because their fingers are lodged in your mouth. You just have to wait.

That is how I feel with anticipation. It is a matter of time, time holds all the answers. The only positive thing about time is that it moves forward wether or not you want it to, which is something that I am thankful for.

Anticipation will always be a part of life and I will do my best to figure out how to appreciate it, but I have a taurus moon, I like things simple and laid out and that will never change.

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