Fear is behind Me
It is no secret that I am anxious person but many people don’t know that I have mild crowd anxiety. Crowds not only normally make me feel overwhelmed but I really hate it when weird random people touch me or bump into me. I couldn’t relax or enjoy myself. Now it was mild enough that I could have a drink or two and would lighten up and be able to ignore the closeness of there people, or sometimes the longer I was exposed I could eventually get use to it. This past saturday, for the first time ever, I was in a crowd without anything in my system and was completely comfortable.
How did I do it?
Well to be honest I am not really sure. It was one of those things that I didn’t even notice until it had already happened. When I was walking to the car after the show I realized that I had made it the whole three hours without panicking that people were shoulder to shoulder with me. I didn’t panic about being trapped in a room with a bunch of people but instead enjoyed the music and time with my siblings. My brother and sister haven’t been to too many concerts considering they are just about of age. I was showing them the ropes, how to handle most pits and rude people. I think the teacher and older sibling in me took over and I didn’t show fear because I couldn’t. This was also the kind of anxiety that I would panic over and psych myself out about. it would be meting that I would talk myself into but this time it didn’t even cross my mind. Now since I have conquered it, it is no longer a problem.
Honestly being able to conquer fears is one of easer things for me. I think part of it is having such an inflated ego. When something makes me feel less or inferior to someone else I go out of my way to fix it. This was something I kept quiet for a very long time. I made it seem more that I was just not social or that I didn’t like dirty people. I made it seem like I was picking but in all reality I was crippled. I am not one to talk about my fears but now that it is simply the past I do not feel ashamed of it anymore. It is something that is now under control completely by accident and for that I am thankful
I have had fears before where I had had to work at and push myself but his was not one. it was actually a lot of fun.
This experience not only conquered something I was not ready to face but it got me 10% closer to completing one of my 101 in 1001 goals, See 10 concerts!
The concert featured Cherry Glazerr, No Parents, and the Buttertones. It was totally hipster and grungy and of course happened in a church. I felt like grandma considering the average age of any given show goer was 17. It was pretty awesome to watch my siblings have fun for once considering they are pretty up tight. I mean to me it is a waste of time to describe a concert to you, music is something you feel. You simply haven’t lived until a bass has pushed a beat into your heart. Here are some pictures, all bands were pretty rad, look them up, if you are into that sort of thing. Here are some pics.