thoughts

My Unpopular Opinion on Marriage

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I am twenty two years old and naturally everyone expects me to get married like my peers. I have a college degree so it is time for me to marry my boyfriend of 4.5 years and start having his babies and working towards repopulation. I personally think I have genes worth passing on but that is an egotistical post down the road. I get asked weekly by someone who sort of knows me when I’m going to do it. People who don’t know me blame it on him and people who do know us blame it on me. At no point, in the mind of others, is it a mutual decision. When I tell people “in a couple years” they look at me with a smile and confusion in their eyes. I have narrowed it down to a few options they could be thinking.

There must be something wrong with their relationship. My relationship is healthy. We push each other to do better and we make each other happy and we have made it through various trials. We’ve never had a break and account that to pristine communication skills and willingness to work through any situation. We don’t scare easy. Our happiness is abundant and the majority of our “unhappy periods” were triggered by outside circumstance. We grow together as two entangled vines.

One of them must be afraid/want out. If we wanted out it would have happened along time ago and neither of us are afraid of commitment. I believe our love to be unconditional and so far that proves true. We have committed to each other despite not having a piece of paper that says so.

They must not be serious. This one may be one of my favorites because anyone who has met me knows that I am ice. I have limited fluidity to me and I do my best to never change. I only commit to things I want and am only loyal to what I have always had. I am not saying this is the way to be however I am serious. Too serious perhaps.

She is controlling. People have the misconception that I am the master manipulator and pants wearer in the relationship, I would attribute this improper assumption to my seriousness paired with his care free attitude. I am the anchor and he is the boat and together we do not get lost into the sea.

It must be about money.  This assumption is one hundred percent correct just not in the way that is most commonly thought and thus begins my unpopular opinions about marriage.

I personally believe that being “married” should only be about money. When I say “married” I am referring to the act of being considered one entity when it comes to taxes. To be recognized as being married by your state or even your church. When I get married, and I will one day be married , it will be in order to have proper benefits that come with married life. Such as tax benefits and insurance. I personally would be a significant financial burden for various reasons.
The first of those reasons being that I have medical issues. Primarily migraines as well as digestive problems. I need good insurance. My parents have the most excellent insurance that gets me the care I need with little financial burden. To put my health problems on my boyfriends plate and list of responsibilities is unfair as he is still figuring out his career path and what he wants to be. I am choosing to be a student for another three years in hope of being an attorney. Which means I am three years out from having a high paying job and three years into excessive debt. Marriage would ultimately be a terrible financial decision.

Marriage is about finances. If you believe that marriage magically changes things you are an idiot. It doesn’t. It changes nothing but your legal documents. I have not been married however I come from a family who went through a divorce. I have learned more about relationships than most people ever will. Marriage has nothing to do with having strong emotional connection. Marriage is a symbol not a magical force that makes two people love each other because they swore it to their god and their government.
When I get married it will be a show of my financial success as well as status. Marriage for me will be a symbol of all I have a accomplished as an individual and now I am ready to take on the burdens that come with adulthood with someone by my side who can bring support and stability.

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