Number two on my list was “get into law school” and I have officially been accepted into my number one choice. I am so ecstatic there is no words but I have to try. I have wanted to be a lawyer since sophomore year of high school, the thought procured in eighth grade, probably from something I saw on T.V, a mixture of legally blonde and Law and Order SVU or some embarrassing compilation like that. The idea of being a lawyer left childhood fantasy and entered into the life goal category when I was a sophomore in high school. I became sure of my purpose quickly thereafter in my junior year. I was in mock trial and damn good at it. My talent and euphoria convinced me of my future along with kind words of encouragement from those in the field. I went to get my bachelors with law school on the horizon and felt jaded every moment of it. My degree was a stepping stone to what I felt was my purpose. I am finally after 9 years of waiting going to study the field I plan to dedicate my mind and waking hours to. I am beyond excited. I feel lighter and brighter because towards the end I was starting to doubt myself.
When I graduated high school I had a 3.8 gpa and a long list of extracurriculars. I knew how great I was and wasn’t afraid to be cocky. My undergrad experience was very different. I worked long hours for a tuition waiver and my school work did not receive a lot of my time. I wanted to be an adult and have a life for the first time on top of a full work and school load and my grades suffered. Suffered is a strong word. I left with about a 3.0 gpa and an average lsat score, and have spent the majority of my time since graduation in december, wondering what if. What if I would have focused more on school. What if I don’t get into law school. What if I have to take the LSAT again. What if I still bad. What if I never become a lawyer.
Notice none of my What ifs are positive. I have had the problem as perceiving hope as childish whimsy for the majority of my life. This stems from the fear of disappointment. This particular disappointment would devastate me and disrupt my idea of who I am and who I am supposed to be. I have been carrying this fear for a long time. Now that I have been admitted I am one step closer. I have three steps left of my 15 year journey. 1. Make it through Law School 2. Pass the Bar and 3. Get a job. But these are fears of the future. Now it is time to celebrate. Best Wishes Everyone. Send positivity out because good things follow.