thoughts

Don’t Mind Me I am Just Going to be Over Here Vomiting

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I am currently awaiting my letter accepting or denying my entrance into my first choice law school and have come to the conclusion that the “application checker” is going to give me an ulcer. I perpetuate and feed my anxiety by prolonging every and all processes. I have a nasty habit of putting things on the back burner before putting them on well the front burner. A decision has been rendered about me and my application, my admittance, and my future. I have never cared this much before about the outcome of a decision. I already have ulcers but I promise you they are worse. I feel like I hate a bag of popcorn kernels that mutated into rollie pollies the second they hit my stomach acid. An insect swarm swelling like the sea. It is only my future and my life purpose being decided. Even worse I know my fate is literally sealed. There is nothing I can do but wait. I used to take solace in being able to dismiss something after my work has been completed. Simply put if this doesn’t work out my life is going on a path that I had not expected and that I am not ready for. I am going to try to keep my meals down for the next couple of days but it will be a tough one.

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