Too many thoughts, Too many options.


I really feel like writing, or blogging, but I have to much on my mind. The kind of thoughts that clog the thought process like a cork as opposed to my normal thoughts, that are individual grains of sand working their way through an hourglass. I am stuck hiding thoughts from myself that I don’t feel like dealing with. But I suppose the one at the forefront, the corkiest cork cell, is that I have a decision to make and I hate it. I pride myself on knowing what I want out of life but I am painfully conflicted when it comes to micro-decisions. The decisions that will do little to determine my life path or really anything past what I do for a few hours a week. I was offered a job that was low paying and hated the first four hours a lot. A lot A lot. I want to pass it up but it is easier said than done. People tell me if I hate it then I can quit later. I already know I hate it now. I know it. I am learning to trust my gut feelings and I hate this job. Yet I am being judged rather harshly. I am essentially making a decision based on how other people will perceive me. This taste wrong, like sweet lemons, unexpected to the point of horrification. I know what I want to do but I will see how it goes. I trust that what is supposed to happen will happen. Wish me luck.


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